Never Be Late!

Tags

Being on Time, Business Manners, Columbia University, email from professor, Etiquette, NYU Stern School of Business, Professor Scott Galloway, self-absorbed society

“Never be late!”

Mom didn’t just say those words, she said them often and with the urgency of a drill sergeant — leaving me almost no choice, but to comply. It was one of the earliest life lessons that my mother taught me, and one of the most important. She didn’t feel it necessary to explain why I shouldn’t be late, just, “Never be late,” (and I’m translating from Korean because to this date she refuses to speak to me in English even though she can fully comprehend it and speak it). That word, “never,” which is transliterated as “jul ddah” weighed on my head like a roomful of dining room furniture.

Mom’s rules were carved in stone like the Ten Commandments. She ran a tight ship. In elementary grades, the night before school, she had both my sister and I pack our school bags and lay them right by the front door so to ensure that there would be no last minute scramble in the morning. We had no time for that on a school day morning. Looking back, I’m surprised that she didn’t have strobe light flashing above them.

Mom made it clear to me at an early age that it was discourteous to make someone wait for me especially an adult or someone of authority. On one occasion the bus that was to take me to my piano lessons was running late. When it got to my stop, I jumped out, and sprinted to my piano teacher’s house in mortal fear. I huffed and puffed as I forced myself to take the staircase up to the apartment where he lived with his mother. There would not be any actual consequence for being late. He was the most mild-tempered teacher I ever had — a kinder, gentler version of the comedian, Jerry Seinfeld. He never even raised his voice in annoyance when I came without having practiced. When he asked me why I was out of breath, I just smiled.

With the “sword of punctuality” hanging over me, I would automatically calculate how much time I needed to prepare, find the right pair of shoes, drive to a particular location, etc. Little did mom know that she was doing a great service to my future husband. I don’t think I ever made my husband late because I took too long getting ready. Mom has yet to be personally thanked for instilling this trait in me, by my husband, but Mother’s Day is coming….

I’ve come across a shockingly-large number of individuals who either never learned that being prompt was serious business, or who had the congenital inability to be on time, or just plain oblivious to the whole issue of time. I had one friend in high school who without fail always ran late. Whenever I used to go over to pick her up, it was at that exact moment she was getting started to get ready — whether it was styling her hair or jumping into the shower. And she never apologized for keeping me waiting or making me late. Of course, now I realize that I was the fool for waiting for her.

And that brings me to today’s lesson: society as a whole has become more self-absorbed, less polite and the following incident highlights just that! I saw this email from a NYU Stern School of Business student, complaining to a professor, after he had been asked to leave for being an hour late to class. Check it out… and the response from the professor.

Sent: Tuesday, February 9, 2010 7:15:11 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific
Subject: Brand Strategy Feedback

Prof. Galloway,

I would like to discuss a matter with you that bothered me. Yesterday evening I entered your 6pm Brand Strategy class approximately 1 hour late. As I entered the room, you quickly dismissed me, saying that I would need to leave and come back to the next class. After speaking with several students who are taking your class, they explained that you have a policy stating that students who arrive more than 15 minutes late will not be admitted to class.

As of yesterday evening, I was interested in three different Monday night classes that all occurred simultaneously. In order to decide which class to select, my plan for the evening was to sample all three and see which one I like most. Since I had never taken your class, I was unaware of your class policy. I was disappointed that you dismissed me from class considering (1) there is no way I could have been aware of your policy and (2) considering that it was the first day of evening classes and I arrived 1 hour late (not a few minutes), it was more probable that my tardiness was due to my desire to sample different classes rather than sheer complacency.

I have already registered for another class but I just wanted to be open and provide my opinion on the matter.

Regards,
xxxx

—
xxxx
MBA 2010 Candidate
NYU Stern School of Business
xxxx.nyu.edu
xxx-xxx-xxxx

The Reply:

—— Forwarded Message ——-
From: scott@stern.nyu.edu
To: “xxxx”
Sent: Tuesday, February 9, 2010 9:34:02 PM GMT -08:00 US/Canada Pacific
Subject: Re: Brand Strategy Feedback

xxxx:

Thanks for the feedback. I, too, would like to offer some feedback.

Just so I’ve got this straight…you started in one class, left 15-20 minutes into it (stood up, walked out mid-lecture), went to another class (walked in 20 minutes late), left that class (again, presumably, in the middle of the lecture), and then came to my class. At that point (walking in an hour late) I asked you to come to the next class which “bothered” you.

Correct?

You state that, having not taken my class, it would be impossible to know our policy of not allowing people to walk in an hour late. Most risk analysis offers that in the face of substantial uncertainty, you opt for the more conservative path or hedge your bet (e.g., do not show up an hour late until you know the professor has an explicit policy for tolerating disrespectful behavior, check with the TA before class, etc.). I hope the lottery winner that is your recently crowned Monday evening Professor is teaching Judgement and Decision Making or Critical Thinking.

In addition, your logic effectively means you cannot be held accountable for any code of conduct before taking a class. For the record, we also have no stated policy against bursting into show tunes in the middle of class, urinating on desks or taking that revolutionary hair removal system for a spin. However, xxxx, there is a baseline level of decorum (i.e., manners) that we expect of grown men and women who the admissions department have deemed tomorrow’s business leaders.

xxxx, let me be more serious for a moment. I do not know you, will not know you and have no real affinity or animosity for you. You are an anonymous student who is now regretting the send button on his laptop. It’s with this context I hope you register pause…REAL pause xxxx and take to heart what I am about to tell you:

xxxx, get your shit together.

Getting a good job, working long hours, keeping your skills relevant, navigating the politics of an organization, finding a live/work balance…these are all really hard, xxxx. In contrast, respecting institutions, having manners, demonstrating a level of humility…these are all (relatively) easy. Get the easy stuff right xxxx. In and of themselves they will not make you successful. However, not possessing them will hold you back and you will not achieve your potential which, by virtue of you being admitted to Stern, you must have in spades. It’s not too late xxxx…

Again, thanks for the feedback.

Professor Galloway

No doubt Professor Galloway would have bought a drink for my political economy professor at Columbia. That class started at 9 am and it was tough getting up to Morningside Heights at that time of the morning from Brooklyn. The 1 train that used to bring us to the 116th Street stop was notorious for being unreliable. Lots of students used to be late. But, you know me: I wasn’t one of them; luckily. The professor finally got so fed up with the students walking in late, he later decided to lock the classroom door promptly at 9:10 am!

Anyway, I personally would like to shake Professor Galloway’s hand because in the real world lateness is rarely acceptable, and it’s just plain rude.

Thanks to the Deadspin for reporting this. Go there to get more information on the background of Professor Scott Galloway.

And… “Never be late!” Don’t make me get mom to speak to you about this.

Is Homeschooling a Fundamental Right?

Tags

Article 1 Section 8, Attorney General Eric Holder, Eric Holder, Freedoms, German Home Schooling Family, Home Schooling, Homeschooling, Individual Rights, Liberty, Political Asylum, U.S. Homeland Security, Uwe and Hannelore Romeike

My own children have never stepped foot in a brick and mortar classroom. My husband and I decided that we were going to home school when our first child was born. That was 13 years ago and we’ve never looked back. I have always taken it for granted that our right to home school was something that could be never taken away, but today my belief that this is a right has definitely been shaken.

Today, I found out that the Obama Administration is trying to deport the German Christian home schooling family that is seeking political asylum in the United States. U.S. Homeland Security and the Attorney General Eric Holder are challenging the political asylum granted by Immigration Judge Lawrence O. Burman to Uwe and Hannelore Romeike and their children in January 2010.

Give me your tired, your poor … but not your homeschooled.

The government of the United States – land of the free, home of the brave, the world’s melting pot – is attempting to deport a German family that fled to America to homeschool their children. statute of liberty crying

Uwe and Hannelore Romeike’s children were persecuted at their German public school because of their fervent Christian beliefs. That, coupled with the fact that the Romeikes found material they deemed inappropriate in the school’s textbooks, drove them to homeschool their children.

Homeschooling – a freedom that many in the United States take for granted – is illegal in Germany. In a 1938 ruling that conjures up chilling reminders of the Nazi regime, the Supreme Court of Germany stated that the homeschooling ban was put in place to “counteract the development of religious and philosophically motivated parallel societies.” Though Hitler’s reign is long over, this law remains in effect.

Despite the risks, which included fines, jail time and losing custody of their six children, the Romeikes took it upon themselves to educate their youngsters. When the government discovered this in 2008, it forcibly removed the Romeike children from their home and fined their parents thousands of euros. Uwe and Hannelore decided their only remaining option was to seek political asylum in the United States.

Initially, things went well for the Romeikes. They were granted political asylum by Immigration Judge Lawrence O. Burman in January 2010 and relocated to Tennessee. In his ruling, Judge Burman states, “This is not traditional German doctrine, this is Nazi doctrine, and it is in this Court’s mind, utterly repellant to everything that we believe in as Americans.”

But the U.S. Department of Homeland Security and Attorney General Eric Holder view the situation differently. The government challenged Judge Burman’s ruling and asked the court to rescind the family’s political asylum and deport the Romeikes to Germany. If that occurred, the parents could face astronomical fines, jail time and even the loss of their children.

The U.S. Immigration Board of Appeals sided with the government and reversed Judge Burman’s decision in May 2012.

“[The government] didn’t have to appeal it in the first place,’ says Michael Donnelly, director for international affairs at the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), which is representing the Romeikes. ‘They could have just left it alone when we won at the trial court level, but they decided to appeal it.”

Read the full article here at EAGNews.org.

I am further at a loss based on the following Supreme Court Decision:

Pierce v. Society of Sisters of the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary, 268 U.S. 510 (1925), was an early 20th century United States Supreme Court decision which significantly expanded coverage of the Due Process Clause in the Fourteenth Amendment to the United States Constitution. The Compulsory Education Act, prior to amendment, had required all Oregon children between eight and sixteen years of age to attend public school. There were several exceptions incorporated in this Act:
1. Children who were mentally or physically unable to attend school
2. Children who had graduated from eighth grade
3. Children living more than a specified distance by road from the nearest school
4. Children being home-schooled or tutored (subject to monitoring by the local school district)
5. Children attending a state-recognized private school

The Act was amended by the 1922 initiative,[2] which would have taken effect on September 1, 1926, eliminated the exception for attendees of private schools. Private schools viewed this as an attack on their right to enroll students and do business in the state of Oregon.
Associate Justice James Clark McReynolds wrote the opinion of the Court. He stated that children were not “the mere creature[s] of the state” (268 U.S. 510, 535), and that, by its very nature, the traditional American understanding of the term liberty prevented the state from forcing students to accept instruction only from public schools. He stated that this responsibility belonged to the child’s parents or guardians, and that the ability to make such a choice was a “liberty” protected by the Fourteenth Amendment. Ibid.

“The fundamental theory of liberty upon which all governments of this Union rest excludes any general power of the State to standardize its children by forcing them to accept instruction from public teachers only.” P. 268 U. S. 535.

More reasons why home schooling should not only be allowed, but promoted:

There is no convincing evidence that certified teachers are more effective in the classroom or that ed-school-based training helps.
See Dartmouth study for evidence that certification has very little effect on student achievement.

“…private schools appear to do fine- perhaps better-without being compelled to hire state certified teachers.”
Chester Finn, Troublemaker, p. 283.

And in today’s educational news — “Nearly 80 percent of New York City high school graduates need to relearn basic skills before they can enter the City University’s community college system.”

Homeschooling or even education is not once mentioned in the Constitution. Article 1 Section 8 of the Constitution enumerates the powers of the federal government. See if you can find education in there?

Golden Rice is Not a Hoax and Greenpeace May Have Committed a Crime Against Humanity

Tags

Bjørn Lomborg, Bt toxin, GMO, Golden Rice, Greenpeace, Mark Lynas, Monsanto, Naomi Klein, Patrick Moore, Vandana Shiva, Vitamin A Deficiency

At the heart of the modern environmentalist movement is a contempt, a repugnance toward humanity. Attempts to ban DDT are responsible for the deaths of millions of Africans, but merely collateral damage to the greenists who consider imaginary damage to the environment of a higher value than human lives.

Genetically modified foods will be the next battlefront…and it is already littered with maimed and dead children and women.

After a delay of 12 years caused by opponents of genetically modified foods, so-called “Golden Rice” with vitamin A will be grown in the Philippines. During the 12-year delay, 8 million children have died due to vitamin A deficiency. “Are anti-GM advocates not partly responsible?” asks Bjørn Lomborg, adjunct professor at the Copenhagen Business School, and the author of The Skeptical Environmentalist and Cool It.

Patrick Moore characterizes Greenpeace’s vehement campaign against Golden Rice as a “crime against humanity.” Moore is a co-founder of Greenpeace who broke with the NGO (non-governmental agencies) over its GM policy and now serves as Chair and Chief Scientist with Greenspirit Strategies in Vancouver, Canada.

Three billion people depend upon rice as their main source of food of which 10 percent are at risk for vitamin A deficiency. Vitamin A deficiency (VAD) weakens the immune system, increasing the risk of infections such as measles and malaria. Severe deficiencies lead to corneal ulcers or blindness. According to the World Health Organization, VAD is the cause of 250,000 to 500,000 children going blind each year. Half of these children die within a year. Additionally in Asia and Africa, almost 600,000 vitamin A-deficient women die from childbirth-related causes.

Golden Rice was created in the 1990′s by Peter Beyer, professor for cell biology at Freiburg University in Germany, and Ingo Potrykus of the Institute of Plant Sciences in Switzerland. This new variety was produced by splicing two genes into white rice so that it produces beta-carotene, a precursor to vitamin A. One gene comes from the daffodil, lending it’s golden color to the rice. The other gene comes from a bacterium that helps the rice produce beta carotene. The body produces vitamin A from beta carotene.

This scientific discovery was hailed by some as the cure to vitamin A deficiency but derided by anti-GM campaigners such as Greenpeace and Naomi Klein. Such vehement protests and activism have thwarted efforts for 12 years to bring this genetically engineered rice into the parts of the world that so desperately need it.

Indian environmental activist and advisor to the government, Vandana Shiva, has called golden rice “a hoax.” He states, “The problem is that vitamin A rice will not remove vitamin A deficiency (VAD). It will seriously aggravate it. It is a technology that fails in its promise.”

“Vandana Shiva would rather have her people in India starve than eat bioengineered food,” says C.S. Prakash, a professor of plant molecular genetics at Tuskegee University in Alabama.

Even after two studies in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition showed that just 50 grams (approximately two ounces) of Golden Rice can provide 60% of the recommended daily intake of vitamin A, opponents continue to maintain that there are better ways to deal with VAD. Greenpeace recently released a statement saying that Golden Rice is “neither needed nor necessary,” and believes supplementation and fortification is the “cost-effective” solution to VAD.

According to Bjørn Lomborg, supplementation programs costs $4,300 for every life saved in India and fortification programs cost about $2,600 for every life saved. Golden Rice would cost just $100 for every life saved from VAD.

Such information was dismissed. Even a successful four year old study conducted in China that was published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition in August didn’t dampen Greenpeace’s campaign against Golden Rice. In fact, it put “Greepeace’s disinformation campaign into overdrive.” The Asian office of Greenpeace issued a disturbing press release headlined, “24 children used as guinea pigs in genetically engineered ‘Golden Rice’ trial.”

Greenpeace is also vigorously campaigning to block Golden Rice trials in Southeast Asia. Greenpeace’s solution to VAD are vitamin pills, organic gardening, and political empowerment over using readily available food.

Mark Lynas an environmental campaigner and one of the founders of the anti-GM crop movement has publicly apologized for his opposition to planting of GM crops in Britain. He now says that Greenpeace’s actions are “immoral and inhumane” because it deprives “the needy of something that would help them and their children because of the aesthetic preferences of rich people far away.“

Greenpeace and many others claim that the proliferation of GM foods will merely give big companies like Monsanto monopoly-like power. Lomborg responds that that this is putting the cart before the horse. What Greenpeace and anti-GM activists have inadvertently done is essentially allow only big companies to compete in the GM market. The approval process has become so long and costly only rich companies can afford to see it through.

These types of photos have been floating around Facebook, building anti-GM sentiment. People were becoming anti-Monsanto and anti-GM just due to these photos. To date there has been no documented human health effects from GM foods. A story that has been repeated by others including Shiva is that GM corn with Bt toxin kills Monarch butterflies. Receiving little press are the several peer-reviewed studies that have established that “the impact of Bt corn pollen from current commercial hybrids on monarch butterfly populations is negligible.”

In 2010, the European Commission, after considering 25 years of GMO research, concluded that “there is as of today, no scientific evidence associating GMOs with higher risks for the environment or for food and feed safety than conventional plants and organisms.“

While Golden Rice was developed over ten years at the miniscule total cost of $2.6 million, in an extraordinary public-private partnership using funds donated by the Rockefeller Foundation, the Swiss Federation, the National Science Foundation, and the European Union, Greenpeace International alone annually spends $270 million annually, and upwards of $7 million each year specifically dedicated to burying Golden Rice and and many other food or crop developed using biotechnology.

~ Jon Entine, senior fellow at the Center for health and Risk Communication and executive director of the Genetic Literacy Project

And not coming as any surprise, Greenpeace is already protesting that “the next ‘Golden Rice’ guinea pigs might be Filipino children.” Lomborg thinks that the 4.4 million Filipino children with vitamin A deficiency might not mind so much.

This is the question that was posed by Ismail Serageldin, the director of the Consultative Group on International Agricultural Research at the annual meeting for the American Association for the Advancement of Science last February:

“I ask opponents of biotechnology, do you want 2 to 3 million children a year to go blind and 1 million to die of vitamin A deficiency, just because you object to the way golden rice was created?“

And I find myself asking the same question.

What Price Beauty?

Tags

double eyelid surgery, plastic surgery in South Korea, yaeba

Gorgeous!

She was simply gorgeous. Yup…movie star quality.

I knew right away her eyelashes were false, but they gave her a dreamy glamorous look. And her flawless face was enveloped in luscious black curls that could have only been obtained with a dozen hot curlers. She was sitting on a couch feeding her baby a bottle. This was ten years ago at a holiday party at a friend’s house and that was the first time I met Emily [name changed to protect identity]. A Korean woman married to a white guy who was also a mother to two children.

No surprise, we bonded instantly, what with having a shared heritage, going through motherhood at the same time and all — the connections were palpable. Emily had attended The Fashion Institute of Technology, and opened a bridal design business. She was au fait with respect to beauty and design. She knew the secrets of make up, and as I am a beauty culture addict, she became my guru

One day when my daughter and I went over to her house for a play date with her older son, I brought over a WSJ article which revealed that calf-shaping was fast becoming a popular plastic surgery option in South Korea. I thought the procedure sounded grotesque and a bit extreme. I’ve heard of fat being sucked out, but muscles being removed to form more shapely calves seemed over the top. She didn’t seem surprised at all. Over Korean seafood pancakes, she confided in me that she herself went through excruciating pain to obtain her own double eyelids. She said her older sister held her hand during recovery.

Double eyelid surgery is quite common in South Korea. Double eyelid surgery is a plastic surgery procedure which involves cutting the outer end of the eye to make them wider and rounder while creating an extra fold on the eyes to mimic those of Westerners.

Before and After Double Eyelid Surgery [and Rhinoplasty as Well?]

I remember my relatives pushing me to get one when I was there on my last visit. They were very open in telling me that they thought my eyes were too small and that I would look prettier with bigger eyes. They would have had no problems telling me to lose weight too if I had been overweight. I was shocked that they had such a narrow standard of beauty. Basically these were the facial features Koreans sought in women: white, pale skin untouched by sun, large round eyes, a high bridged nose, and a narrow jaw line. At that time I was only twenty, but I was quite used to my face. Conformity was not high on my list. This probably has a great deal to do with my American upbringing.

But I never judged Emily for her double eyelid surgery. Or even for her nose job which she never fessed up to, but which I guessed a while ago. And I suspect she had gotten a nip and tuck after her second child because she came over for a Fourth of July pool party wearing a skimpy brown bikini, nearly putting the models of Sports Illustrated to shame. Women put on make up to look prettier so why can’t they have plastic surgery for the same reason? As long as it doesn’t become a lifelong obsession as in the case of poor Michael Jackson.

While it’s possible to take advantage of the scientific, technological, and medical advances, it’s still a bit sad that so many young women in South Korea feel the pressure to look perfect. A lot of South Korean girls are given double eyelid surgeries as graduation presents. Other popular procedures include rhinoplasty and jawlines being narrowed.

Jawline Before and After Surgery

To them, no biggie. It’s as ordinary as buying a new outfit. But they sure do seem to put a high price on physical attractiveness in that little peninsula. So proud, in fact, it is even common practice for people to attach a photo of themselves on applications if they’re seeking a job or applying to a university. That would be almost unheard of here in the United States unless you were looking for a job as a model or an actor.

One in 77 Koreans have had a tuck, peel, jab or lift. In the capital city of Seoul, 20 per cent of women aged 19 to 49 admitted to enhancing their looks with surgery. Even Miss Korea 2012, Kim Yu-Mi, openly admitted that her good looks aren’t all natural.

~ The Sun

Miss Korea 2012

These figures makes South Korea the plastic surgery capital of world if you take into account population, beating out countries like Greece, Italy and even the United States. If you discount the population, the U.S. still has the highest number of plastic surgery procedures at 3.11 million.

While in one Asian country, South Korea, women seek balanced perfection. In another, they look to create imperfection to “enhance” their charm. In Japan, forever on the cutting edge, teenage girls are flocking to their dentists for a procedure called ‘yaeba’ — get this — to temporarily or permanently elongate their canine teeth. Make ‘em less perfect. Less! Japanese men seen to think it makes a woman appear cuter, younger and adds sex appeal. Why couldn’t this trend pop up in the States so parents could save thousands of dollars in orthodontic bills???

Before Yaeba

After Yaeba

So interesting what people will do for beauty around the world. I wonder what the Elephant Man would say.

“Curiouser and curiouser,” said Alice.

Streetwise Tips for Women

Tags

Assault Prevention, Crime Prevention, elevator personal safety, How not to be a victim, How to escape kidnapper, How to fight off an attacker, mental prepartion for personal safety, Safety, self-defense, using pepper spray

This photo depicts every woman’s worst nightmare. You are walking alone and you think a man is following you. The hairs on your neck stand out and your heart begins to race. What should you do?

If you’re starting to feel nervous because you’re not sure what you should do, that is very natural.

If you think that this will never happen to you, you are using denial to cope with a difficult subject.

“Denial is a common tactic that substitutes deliberate ignorance for thoughtful planning.” ~ Charles Temper

I was guilty of denial too. I used to lull myself into a false sense of security saying that this was probably not going to happen to me — that I don’t live in a bad neighborhood and all have to do is avoid going out at night. But later on, I did have to travel, sometimes through bad neighborhoods even at night. My rationale was no longer working. I had to find a better way to deal with that possible nightmare above — the worst case scenario.

I wish I could carry a gun, but I can’t in NYC. So I went to others who had more information about personal safety. I even took a half-day seminar entitled, “Refuse To Be A Victim.”

My strategy was to become mentally prepared for that moment when I would have to make a life and death decision. Familiarizing myself on what my options are when faced with a threatening situation has lessened my anxiety, and has made me more self-assured that I will be ready if and when that moment comes.

If a woman is attacked, she will have a rush of adrenaline, her heart certainly will be racing, and her brain may not work at it’s optimum level. She will need to quickly rely upon her wit, reflexes, instincts and the crucial mental preparations she made prior to her attack.

I did the personal safety research for myself, but I’m now going to share it with you. Please read on to find out:

1) How Not To Be Selected As A Target

2) What To Do If You Are Selected As A Target

Criminals may not have the highest IQ, but they are certainly capable of planning. Their victims are not selected randomly and will choose the person that is the easiest prey.

Awareness, Intuition, Mindset and Boundaries
Be aware of your surroundings and be suspicious of people loitering in the streets and near the entrance to your home or office. Always be suspicious. Look around you before you leave or enter any space (your car, home, office elevator or any building).

Don’t dismiss your intuition! This is your sixth sense. It may tell you not to go into a certain building or that someone may be following you. Remember the times you have ignored your intuition. Were you sorry you disregarded it?

One of the ways to not become selected as a target is to maintain a confident, alert mindset. Having your head up will give the appearance that you are not a victim, and will increase the chances that you will not be selected as a target. Pre-planning will give you the strong mindset to be able to confidently take action to stop an attack, escape from an attack and protect yourself or others.

Clearly define your personal space. Be prepared to act when someone gets too close and violates your comfort zone. The simplest action you can take is to move away, but if the person persists, you may need to run or defend yourself by making a physical response.

Using ATMs
Everyone knows you leave an ATM with cash. If you could help it, try not to go to the ATM alone. If you are driving up to an ATM, try to park as close to the ATM as possible. Don’t use outside ATMs at night or in unfamiliar neighborhoods. Never use an ATM where people are loitering. If someone gets close to you while you are using an ATM, cancel the transaction, leave quickly, and find another machine.

Walking
When walking in the street, always walk in the opposite direction of traffic. A person who walks in the same direction that cars are traveling can be more easily followed and forced into a car than someone who walks against the traffic.

If you are suspicious of someone in a car, walk or run in the opposite direction from which car is traveling. In order for that car to pursue you, he would have turn his car around. Going in the opposite direction gives you valuable time. The car pursuing you may give up to find an easier target. Go to the nearest lighted store or home for help.

If you think someone is following you by foot, cross to the other side of the street, and go to the nearest open business or home.

Elevators
What do you do when the elevator opens and you have a uncomfortable feeling about the person that’s in there? DO NOT ENTER. Don’t worry about hurting that person’s feeling. Your life is more important.

What if you’re already on the elevator and a strange person enters? If you are fast, you can step off before the elevator closes. If you can’t react that fast, press several buttons for upcoming floors and leave as soon as the elevator stops.

Don’t press the STOP button! This will stop the elevator and you will be trapped inside with the threatening person. If you are being attacked on the elevator and your attacker presses the STOP button, you must pull the button back out. If he hits you for doing this, you must continue to pull the button back out. This is your chance for escape. You can’t be helped as long as you are trapped in that elevator with your attacker.

Some of you may say, “Well maybe the staircase is better.” Keep in mind that stairwells are made to code and so therefore fireproof and even soundproof. Any cries of help will most likely not be heard. In addition, caught in the stairwell, you are automatically giving someone privacy, allowing a perpetrator valuable time and space to harm you without interruption.

Car Safety
Be alert of your surroundings and have your keys ready in your hands when you approach your car. If you are leaving a mall and there are people loitering by your car, go back to the mall and have a security guard escort you. This is one of the reasons why security guards are there. Do not hesitate to make this request. Once you get in the car, place your handbag on the floor. Putting it on the seat next to you makes you a target. As soon as you get in, don’t fix your makeup or call your friend, just lock the door and drive away.

One of the scams I heard about are how people are purposely bumping you on the highway. Once you get out to talk to the person, examine damage, or to exchange information, you are then robbed or attacked. Do not leave the car. Call police and stay inside the car. Open the window only a crack to speak to the other driver. Information can be traded by pressing cards against window. If you are afraid of the other person or if he is threatening you, get license plate number and drive away. If he gets on the hood of your car and bangs on it, drive away slowly.

You have car trouble in a strange neighborhood, and your car is inoperable and your cell phone is dead. Do not leave you car to seek help. Make a sign on any paper or cardboard. “Help. Call Police.”

Being Cautious With Purses and Wallets
Photocopy everything in your wallet and store in a safe place in the event you need to access them and have stolen documents and cards replaced.

A fanny pack or a money belt is recommended so that it can be concealed under clothing, but I don’t find either of them too useful because I carry so many things in my purse.

Law enforcement authorities recommend you keep a small amount of cash in an easily accessible pocket or purse in order to satisfy criminals who are primarily interested in cash.

You can prepare an attractive money roll with singles inside with a ten or twenty-dollar bill on the outside. This way, when a thief approaches you can throw this roll of money in one direction and you run in the opposite direction. Do not hand over the roll! Throwing the money makes the thief have to scramble after the money, allowing you time to escape.

Preparing and carrying an extra cheap wallet is another good idea. This decoy wallet should have some cash, but not contain your driver’s license, car registration, health insurance cards, employee identification, business cards or any valuable documents. No valid credit cards should be placed in this wallet. You might put some cards that come with new wallets to make this decoy wallet look realistic. Again when asked for money, this decoy wallet should be thrown several feet away.

If you are carrying a purse and the robber demands you hand it over, you can either throw the purse or empty the contents on the ground. Making the robber scramble to recover contests will give you an opportunity to escape.

Pepper Sprays
I’ve heard women given advice that they should hold keys in their hands when they are alone at night walking to their car at night. They say having the keys pointing out of their fists can be a weapon. This advice is not that great because most women lack the upper body strength and they have a tendency to paw rather than punch. Also it is very hard to hit a man if he is much taller than you.

A better option would be a self defense spray such as pepper spray. Pepper spray instantly irritates nerve endings in an attacker’s body and causes intense burning upon contact. It severely constricts the nasal passages and throat, and shuts down all but the very basic level of breathing. It also causes the attacker’s eyes to close immediately. The effects of the chemical last up to 20 minutes depending upon the concentration.

Be aware that pepper spray is not effective on a small percentage of the population so make sure you have a back up plan if the spray does not deter your attacker. The spray has a range of 3-12 feet, depending upon the brand, model and size of the container.

If your spray produces a mist, be careful that the wind is not blowing in your direction when you are spraying. Chemical sprays have a limited shelf life and they need to be replaced before the expiration date.

Remember that pepper spray is no use to you in your purse or briefcase. The best place for it is in your hand. The second best place is an outside pocket that you can reach quickly with a free hand. Once you take out the pepper spray, use it right away. Hesitating may give the attacker opportunity to take it away from you.

Pepper spray is legal in all U.S. states, but many have restrictions. Please read what those restrictions may be in your state. They are also prohibited on commercial airlines.

What To Do When You Are Being Pulled, Attacked
What do you if someone tries to pull you into his car? If he successfully drags you into his car, you are going to be raped at the very least. If you could help it, DO NOT EVER allow someone to take you to a secondary crime scene where the perpetrator has more control, privacy, and time to assault you.

If he gets a hold of your arm, you reach and grab his thumb off your arm; it’s the weakest of all the fingers. Grab his thumb and run away. If he grabs your coat, get out of the coat. If you hold onto your coat, he will pull you and your coat into his car. You can not get into his car for any reason whatsoever.

Don’t forget to cry, “Fire! Fire! Fire” to draw attention to the incident. Most people respond to “fire” than “help” because if they don’t respond and there really is a fire, it costs them money and they could also get hurt.

Playing Your Odds
This time, the person puts a gun to your head and orders you to get into the car. Do you comply with a gun to your head? You make a quick decision and run right away. Let’s say that the criminal shoots only 50% of the time because he might want to find another victim that is more compliant. Let’s say that 25% of the time he shoots and hits the victim. And let’s add that 12.5% of the time he either seriously hurts or mortally wounds the victim. Do you like those odds? The actual statistics show that only 2% of the time does he seriously hurts or mortally wounds the victim. I would say those are better odds than for the person who can’t get away and ends up in the car.

Getting Physical
Another scenario might be that as you try to get away, he gets physical with you and you end up on the floor. What do you do? Spin yourself around and keep your feet facing him. Kick from the ground to keep him off you and yell, “Fire! Fire! Fire!” as loud you can. Punching and hitting would be less effective as we women have less upper body strength. We have more power in our legs. At this point, fleeing is the best option.

Remember that the person you are dealing with is a criminal and he will lie, threaten, cajole and make promises to get what he wants. Do NOT believe him even if you want to. So if he says, just do this and I won’t hurt you, know that he is lying to you. Women have complied in the past, thinking their lives may be spared, and sadly they thought wrong.

There are no guarantees in life, especially in crime prevention and on the subject of safety. I hope that the tips I provided will be of help.

Please feel free to comment, leave questions or share your own safety tips below.

Sources:
Street Smarts: How To Avoid Being A Victim w./ Detetive J.J. Bittenbinder, was a PBS special aired back in October of 1993. Detective J.J. Bittenbinder has been a police office in since 1971 and have interviewed thousands of witnesses and offenders. He is also the author of Tough Target: A Street-Smart Guide to Staying Safe, and is considered an authority on the subject of safety.

NRA: Refuse To Be A Victim Seminar, attended in February 2012.

Even a Beauty Addict Like Me has Her Limits

Tags

Asian status symbol, beauty, beauty addict, Chinese trend, face-kini

I remember my first beauty makeover. I was about 7 or 8. My mom had a friend who had two older teenage girls. They happened to be over our apartment, and they decided to make me over for fun. They doted over me, curled my hair with a curling iron, and put make up on me. Make up was completely forbidden to me at that age, but my mom allowed it since I wasn’t going out like that. I absolutely loved it. I felt like a movie star. It would be quite a number of years before I was allowed to wear make up and even wear my hair down. (My very strict Korean mom refused to even let my hair down for many years because she thought it may me look like a wild child.) But when I did, I kind of became a beauty addict. I wanted to try everything! And I did.

Even after I got married, my obsessions with cosmetics, lotions, and fragrances continued. The only thing I stopped doing was walk around with the mud mask. One time my husband saw me walking around the house at night with the greenish mask on and he jumped. I stopped doing that beauty regimen because I wanted my husband to think I was beautiful, and freaking him out was not part of the plan.

Here’s a snapshot of like a sixth of my make up table.

My very cluttered and well-used makeup table.

And that’s after I tidied it up! It’s insane, I know. My obsession with makeup is inexplicable as is my obsession with shoes and handbags….

For Asians, having a pale face is a status symbol, so I don’t worship the sun as Americans do. It’s completely the opposite of the way Americans think. You may have noticed older Chinese ladies walking around with parasols. I have a photo of myself around 3 or 4 years old walking with my grandmother in Korea carrying an umbrella. It wasn’t raining. I was just shielding my face from the brutal sun. Over the years, as a kid when I used to come back from camp with my face perfectly bronzed, my mom used to complain I got too dark. To this day, I don’t like to tan.

All of the above is leading up to what you’re about to witness. The above notwithstanding, even I have my limits. Take a look at one of the recent trends that has emerged in China:

Chinese beach-goers donning their ‘face-kini’ at a public beach in Qingdao, northeast China’s Shandong province.

They come in a variety of patterns and are made for both men and women.

Oh how sweet! They come in children sizes too.

The ‘Face-kini’ comes complete with a bodysuit.

The factory made cost is 15 – 25 yuan which is equivalent to $2.50 to $4.00. I suppose it could be called the natural alternative to the sunscreen lotion that most people lather on their face to protect from the sun’s rays…. It even seems to work as a repellent to bugs and jellyfish… possibly people too.

I thought Jaws was the scariest thing at the beach till I saw this.

Letting Go of Relationships

Tags

friendships, letting go, not keeping in touch

I learned early on that friendships take time and effort. And even if I did put in the time and effort, more times than not, I was disappointed by the results. People tell me I’m too critical or too sensitive, but if there’s more negative than positive in a relationship, why bother?

I don’t need the whole world to like me. If you like me and we have things in common, fine, but if you don’t think I’m great, the sun will rise tomorrow and life will certainly go on. I’m very independent. I can do most things by myself and if I want to go do something and no one wants to go with me, I will go do it alone.

After having spent time and effort on some major friendships in the past, just to see them disintegrate after a couple of years, I’m just tired. Perhaps I could have done something to make things better, I don’t know, but those experiences were so bad, I really don’t want to try anymore. I try my best to maintain the friendships that I have, but I’m not going to go the extra mile if I see no effort coming from the other person. I have a limited amount of time and I prefer to spend that time on fruitful things, not on things or people that suck the life out of me without anything in return.

Maybe the meaning of “friend” has been watered down so much, people think that you can maintain a friendship through one holiday card a year. And there are those who feel out the boundaries to see how little they can get away with in a friendship. They do the bare minimum because they are too lazy or don’t want to make the effort. Kind of like the Al Bundy of friendships.

So if you never bothered to call to see how I was doing after my second child was born or check to see if our family was washed away by Hurricane Sandy, then we aren’t friends. Being a friend is actually caring and reaching out to see if you’re needed, not just wondering if that person is mad at you because you didn’t make the effort. But I’m grateful for the true friends that I do have. I think you know who you are because you’ve been there for me not just during the times you’ve needed or wanted something from me.

Everyone I’m sure has different views on friendships, but what would make you rethink a friendship?

My Book Club is Starting This Year!

Tags

book club, book discussion, Brooklyn, meetup

The last satisfying book club I was part of was nearly 13 years ago. We met once a month at a local restaurant and we decided as a group what we would read. It was really pleasant and I liked the ladies that were part of the book club. One of the ladies even arranged a baby shower for me, but as they say — all good things must come to an end….

Since then, I was part of one book club for several months. I couldn’t get comfortable in it because after 20 minutes into the book discussion, it evolved into discussions about people’s personal lives and I didn’t find their lives all that interesting. The other annoying aspect about this book club was that people were unwilling to read the books that were selected. Okay, so if no one is reading the book but me, what are we supposed to be discussing? More personal stuff? No, thank you. I felt badly about leaving because the woman leading the book club was quite literate and I liked the books she picked.

That was a handful of years ago and since then I have hemmed and hawed about starting my own club thinking it would be this huge responsibility. So I looked and looked for a book club that was already established, and I think it was mostly the locations that were bugging me. I didn’t want to trek into Manhattan, Park Slope or Astoria for a book club meeting, I have to do that for homeschooling purposes already and I didn’t want to do it for a book club. I just didn’t.

So here it is the new year, and though I have no idea where this book club is going to go, I am excited and open to new ideas. I will ask people to bring a copy of a book they would like to read and suggest for the book club, and ask for ideas on where they’d like this book club to go.

Please spread the word, if you know of any bibliophiles that might be interested and live in or near Brooklyn. Going forward, depending upon the outcome of the first meeting, it will be meeting once a month. The location will only be revealed to folks who message me either on Facebook or Twitter.

Till then happy reading….

Happiness in the New Year

Tags

2013, Ali Wentworth, blepharoplasty, eye lift, happiness, Happy New Year, plastic surgery, The Year of the Black Snake

Another year has come and gone. Maybe it’s a sign that I’m getting older (and hopefully wiser) because I don’t get giddy with excitement anymore about Christmas or New Year’s Day. I think I stayed up once to watch the New Year’s ball drop in Times Square and the experience was enough to last a life time.

I went out earlier today and brought back some bagels and scallion cream cheese. I like eating poppy seed bagels in the comfort and privacy of my own home because no one has yet invented poppy seeds that won’t imbed themselves into every space between your teeth. I asked my wonderful husband to make coffee (men are usually better at making coffee than women) and picked up my latest issue of Elle and got engrossed reading Ali Wentworth’s article on her blepharoplasty. It’s a fancy word for the surgical procedure of lifting the eyes. She included before and after photos. She claims she is not a vain person, but her baggy eyes were a cause for concern since her twenties and she finally decided to do something about it. Judging by the after-photo, the procedure was well-worth the time and $7,000.

Why did she do it? She wanted to look more youthful, and she realized it would also make her happier.

I had no idea who Ali Wentworth was so I looked her up and she is a comedienne, actress, author and wife to George Stephanopoulos! Why the exclamation mark? Because for decades, I thought he was single and possibly gay….

Anyway reading Ali Wentworth’s experience about her plastic surgery and how happy she was with the results, got me to thinking about the things that make me happy.

My family makes me happy. Being with them and watching and raising my kids makes me happy. More things that make me happy: cooking, eating, reading, writing, playing piano, trying new things, making things with my hands, and accomplishing things. What doesn’t make me happy: wasting time and being around self-centered people.

How could I be happier? Doing more of the things I like doing. I think I might possibly cook less and focus my time reading and writing more. As much as I absolutely enjoy preparing fantastic elaborate meals AND eating them, I need to focus that energy on possibly a new project. I’ll talk more about it once I get started and it looks like it’s actually going somewhere.

So expect to see more of my blog. I am aiming to blog at least once a week. It may be this kind of stream of conscience blog and less politically oriented. Did I hear some sighs of relief?

And I want to get back into reading more and I’m going to give myself a goal of 24 books this coming year. So look for more frequent postings on Goodreads.

I hope that didn’t sound like resolutions. I never do resolutions. On that note, Happy New Year to everyone and welcome the year of the Black Snake….

How Not to Get Scammed Into Buying a Hurricane Sandy Car

Tags

AutoCheck, Car Doctor on WOR Radio, Car Fax, Cars Damaged by Hurricane Sandy, pre-purchase inspection, Ron Ananian, title branding, title check, title washing

I was listening to the “Car Doctor Ron Ananian” on WOR Radio, the other day and he was explaining that cars damaged by Hurricane Sandy would be “flooding” the market. A reconditioned car that has been previously flooded will seem fine, may run well for a few months, but then over time electrical systems and computer modules will show the results of corrosion and fail, and you will see more and more problems and it will become a money pit.

How are these cars being resold?

The insurance companies totals these flood-damaged cars, pays the insured, and “brands” the title on these cars indicating the type of loss (Salvage, Rebuilt Wreck, Flood Victim), and takes ownership of the vehicles. These vehicles are taken to insurance auctions. Usually the buyers are legitimate businesses like body shops and car dealers. But some are unscrupulous vehicle rebuilders that also own “chop shops.”

These vehicle rebuilders will buy these flood-damaged cars with high end names (Lexus, Mercedes, Cadillac) at the lowest possible prices and then have them rebuilt as cheaply as possible. Then these cars are resold in the auction circuit. Their modus operandi is to sell them in places as far as possible from the hurricane so as not to raise any suspicions from the dealer or the retail customer. The victims are the dealers and retail customers who didn’t run a title check through a reputable service like Car Fax or AutoCheck.

So you think all you have to do avoid the problem is to do a title check? Wrong. I found out from the Car Doctor that there are some disreputable businesses who will pick up these cars at the insurance auction, have them cheaply reconditioned, take them over state lines where they are re-registered over and over, eventually the insurance brand is removed or washed from title. That’s where the term “title washing” comes from. Once a clean title is issued, the car will be sold in the auction circuit under false pretenses.

I hadn’t heard of “title washing” before so I was totally shocked when I heard that this was going on.

So how can you or I avoid getting scammed?

How can people detect that a reconditioned car was in a flood?

One way you can avoid getting a flood-damaged car is to hire a professional to do a pre-purchase inspection who knows what clues to look for. He will do an electrical test and can ascertain if any of the circuits are damaged. If you don’t have trustworthy mechanic, Alliance Inspection Management (AiM) can provide that service. It is now in the process of inspecting hundreds of Sandy vehicles. Another company that does this type of pre-purchase inspection is inspectmyride.com.

The car may have water damage if you see water lines in the engine compartment, door jamb and the trunk. Another place to check is the wheel well for the spare tire. Look for water lines and/or rust. Look for green crust-like substance in the electrical plugs and junction. Look under the seat and check for rust where the seats are mounted to the floor. Also check to see if the carpet is either loose or wrinkly. The carpet may be sloppily put back in place after car was repaired. An experienced technician would look under seats and dashboard for silt or mud — another sign that the car was in a flood.

An experienced technician would also check to see if the equipment in the car matches what it’s supposed to come with. If it doesn’t come with specified engine or a set of equipment for that specific model, you should question why. Could be a sign that the car was rebuilt.

Other signs that the car was submerged under water: milky engine oil, milky power steering fluid, and automatic transmission fluid that looks has strawberry milkshake color.

According to the Car Doctor Ron Ananian, cars and car parts damaged by Katrina were in circulation for several years after that weather catastrophe. Caveat Emptor.

Sources:

http://autos.aol.com/article/how-to-avoid-flood-damaged-cars/

http://carbuyingtipsguide.com/car-buying-tips/used-car-buying-tips-beware-hurricane-sandy-damaged-cars

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jimhenry/2012/10/31/following-hurricane-sandy-heres-how-to-avoid-buying-a-flood-damaged-car-dont-get-soaked/