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Congratulations to the Navy SEAL who shot Osama Bin Laden!

And while it closed one door, it re-opened another: the question of enhanced interrogation, such as waterboarding.

Donald Rumsfeld in a recent interview with Sean Hannity made it absolutely clear that strong interrogation techniques were used to obtain important information that led to the eventual assassination of Bin Laden!

HANNITY: — that they kind of have to do this.

Let me ask you this. I think it is pretty clear now that discovering who this courier was, through strong interrogation techniques, that were employed during the Bush administration, without which this day would never have occurred. So, can’t we — it seems to me we need to reignite this debate about enhancement interrogation techniques in this country. Is that a good idea?

RUMSFELD: I think it’s certainly is a reasonable idea. Is it correct that the CIA Director Panetta today indicated that one of the individuals who provided important information had in fact been waterboarded?

HANNITY: Yes. Yes. Yes.

RUMSFELD: Is that correct?


RUMSFELD: Well, that’s my understanding. And I think that anyone who suggests that the enhanced techniques, let’s be blunt, waterboarding, did not produce an enormous amount of valuable intelligence, just isn’t facing the truth. The facts are, General Mike Hayden came in, he had no connection with waterboarding anybody. He looked at all the evidence and concluded that a major fraction of the intelligence in our country on al Qaeda came from individuals, the three, only three people who were waterboarded.

But “President Barack Obama said Wednesday night that waterboarding authorized by former President George W. Bush was torture and that the information it gained from terror suspects could have been obtained by other means. ‘In some cases, it may be harder,’ he conceded at a White House news conference capping a whirlwind first 100 days in office.”

So, it seems, logic, and evidence of effectiveness, have no impact on the thinking of the naysayers, let’s see if this comparison does…

The New York Times outline of torture techniques.

And below, is pretty much the way I remember what the left calls ‘torture.’

1. Walling
(Bybee Memo, August 1, 2002)

“A flexible false wall will be constructed. The individual is placed with his heels touching the wall: The interrogator pulls the individual forward and then quickly and firmly pushes the individual into the wall. It is the individual’s shoulder blades that hit the wall.”

Anyone who’s been at a Lady Gaga concert or shoe sale at Bloomingdale’s has been through this one. Any permanent injuries?

2. The Facial (or Insult) Slap
(Bybee Memo, August 1, 2002)

“With the facial slap or insult slap, the interrogator slaps the individual’s face with fingers slightly spread. The hand makes contact with the area directly between the tip of the individual’s personal space.”

This one is a toughie, since women today will put up with any behavior, but you guys who have gone with ladies, may have had to contend with this ‘torture.’

3. Insects Placed in a Confinement Box & Cramped Confinement
(Bybee Memo, August 1, 2002)

“You [the CIA] would like to place [Abu] Zubaydah in a cramped confinement box with an insect. You have informed us [the Department of Justice] that he appears to have a fear of insects. In particular, you would like to tell Zubaydah that you intend to place a stinging insect into the box with him. You would, however, place a harmless insect in the box. You have orally informed us that you would in fact place a harmless insect such as a caterpiller in the box with him.”

There was the time we took a cabin in the woods. Yes, I was exposed to this horrid torture as well!

“With respect to the small confinement box, you have informed us that he would spend at most two hours in this box… For the larger box, in which he can both stand and sit, he may be placed in this box for up to eighteen hours at a time…”

It is also known by it’s alternate title: the dreaded ‘college dorm room!’ In some of the dorm rooms in Columbia, you actually had to have the door open to fit the bed. I kid you not.

5. Dietary Manipulation
(Bradbury Memo, May 10, 2005)

“this technique involves the substitution of commercial liquid meal replacements for normal food, presenting detainees with a bland, unappetizing, but nutritionally complete diet.”

Now, this is torture. I remember after the first two weeks of staying up until 3 in the morning and eating nothing but junk food, I became quickly acquainted with the ‘freshman 10.’ You know what came next: the living hell of Slim Fast!

Plus, I didn’t get any medical personnel, although there was this cute pre-med soph…

6. Nudity
(Bradbury Memo, May 10, 2005)

“This technique is used to cause psychological discomfort, particularly if a detainee, for cultural or other reasons, is especially modest. When the technique is employed, clothing can be provided as a instant reward for cooperation… Interrogators can exploit the detainee’s fear of being seen naked.”

No details here, but I will tell you that at Vassar, we had co-ed bathrooms and showers.

7. Abdominal Slap
(Bradbury Memo, May 10, 2005)

“In this technique, the interrogator strikes the abdomen of the detainee with the back of his open hand. The interrogator must have no rings or other jewelry on his hand. The interrogator is positioned directly in front of the detainee, generally no more than 18 inches from the detainees. With his fingers held tightly together and fully extended, and with his palm toward the interrogator slaps the detainee in the detainee’s abdoment. The interrogator may not use a fist, and the slap must be delivered above the navel and below the sternum.”

Dreadful! Why, this is almost as bad as Dodge Ball!

8. Water Dousing and ‘Flicking’
(Bradbury Memo, May 10, 2005)

“Cold water is poured on the detainee either from a container or from a hose without a nozzle.”

Do you have an older brother? Need I say more?

“…you have also described a variation of water dousing involving much smaller quantities of water; this variation is known as ‘flicking.’ Flicking of water is achieved by the interrogator wetting his fingers and then flicking them at the detainee, propelling droplets at the detainee.”

9. Sleep Deprivation (more than 48 hours)
(Bradbury Memo, May 10, 2005)

I get the heebie-jeebies just thinking of those No-Doz days, and nights.

“…In lieu of standing sleep deprivation, a detainee may instead by seated on and shackled to a small stoo. The stool supports the detainee’s weight, but is too small to permit the subject to balance himself sufficiently to go to sleep…”

I’ve been in college lectures in similar situations.

10. Waterboarding
(Bybee Memo, August 1, 2002)
“Finally, you would like to use a technique called the ‘waterboard.’ …airflow is slightly restricted for 20 to 40 seconds.”

Here is the biggie, waterboarding, as we call it, Chug-a-Lug:

Wow, kind of reminds you of that line from Pulp Fiction, “You hear me talking, hillbilly boy? I aint through with you by a damn sight. I’m a get medieval on yer ass.”

Is it possible that we have defined ‘torture’ down to this level? I think not. Those claiming it’s torture are simply the same anti-war, America-hating liberals with a Bush Derangement Syndrome, hiding behind some feigned righteous indignation as a strategy to impede the success of American policy, in the hopes of another Vietnam debacle.

Winston Churchill famously said, “We sleep soundly in our beds at night because rough men stand ready to do violence on our behalf.”

Little did he suspect that we would, instead, became a nation of girly-men.